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Tech Support: Terror Tales From The Front Line

This story is dedicated to those fearless men and women who, every day, brave dark and stormy phone calls from the unknown, un-named, ill-informed, querulous public; to those who, with no regard for their personal safety nor deep intrusions into their mental sanity, face hurt, shame and embarrassment in their quest to answer the challenging questions they are thrown.

by Barrie Smith

I speak of the Tech Support people, those unsung heroes of the technical turmoil that surrounds all of us in this challenging world of the 21st century.

I make no claim to the following Terror Tech Tales being original – many of them have been “doing the rounds” for years. But they can all handle re-telling!

Terror Tech Tales

Often the early days are the worst.

Customer: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”

TS: “Aagh!”

Followed by:

TS: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “OK.”

TS: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

TS: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer “No.”

TS: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

Should have got a medal!

Software problems can sometimes lead to a greater awareness with the general public. This is an actual conversation that occurred between a customer and a Tech Support operator. (He later got fired for his responses!).

TS: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

TS: “What sort of trouble?”

Customer: “Well I was just typing, and all of a sudden the words went away”

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